How Learning Changed My Life Completely

When I was in school, I hated learning. It felt like a meaningless waste of time. I started counting the days until I could leave school. But now, I think differently about learning. In my opinion, learning is the best thing I can spend my time on. But how and why did this change in my mind come about? In this article, I want to share my thoughts about learning with you.

Why I Hated Learning in School

When I went to school, especially in the last years (2011-2012), I thought that learning was a waste of time. I just needed to learn for a test to pass it. There was no other use for the knowledge in my mind. Learn it - write the test - hopefully forget it. I didn’t see any benefit in knowing things like interpreting poetry or solving “complex” math functions. Why did I need to know what x is?

I couldn’t see any further use for most of the knowledge gathered in school. I think this is normal. You’re busy growing up, figuring out emotions, making your first close friendships or romantic relationships. You have so much going on and know so little about life. It doesn’t occur to you that knowledge is valuable because you can’t imagine what to do with it later. At least, that was the case for me. But I started to change my mind two years later.

How I Began to Love Learning

Two troubling years later, full of parties, alcohol, some weed, and fights with my family about my future after dropping out of school after 11th grade, I started an apprenticeship as a car mechanic. I liked cars, and my mother threatened to kick me out if I didn’t find a job.

In Germany, an apprenticeship is structured with 4-6 weeks at a company and then 2 weeks at a technical school. This cycle runs for 3-3.5 years. In the first year, I became interested in how an engine works and asked my supervisor many questions. In school, I actively participated in lessons. I figured out that what I learned in school, I could use at work. Remembering the theory made practical work easier. I started learning more because I wanted to be the best in my class. My motivation was comparing myself to others and trying to be better than them. Not a good motivation, but at least there was some.

I started to love learning because I realized how powerful knowledge can be and how good it feels to get positive feedback. Especially in school, with grades. You could easily compare yourself to others through grades. It was like a game for me, and I wanted to win.

I Was Obsessed with Learning

After the apprenticeship, I worked as a car mechanic for a while but had to change jobs due to health issues. I enrolled in a bachelor’s program in Motorsport Engineering. My motivation was to beat others on my way to a degree. I wanted to be known as one of the best students by professors.

The amount of stuff you need to learn for a bachelor’s degree, especially in Engineering, is huge. So I started to learn day and night, around 12 hours a day, every day, for three and a half years. During this time, I worked a mini job delivering pizza at night. I had no time for other activities, especially not for my relationship with my girlfriend.

Looking back now, I think I was just obsessed with learning, and my motivation was not healthy. But I did become one of the best students and got offers to work with professors or companies they knew.

False Motivation

After my studies, I worked at a company specializing in Hardware-in-the-Loop technology, a complex field in the automotive industry involving a lot of IT knowledge. I was still caught in my thoughts of beating others and saw knowledge and learning as a battle.

At work, you need to share knowledge, work together, and be kind. Colleagues are not enemies. I needed to shift my motivation. This was difficult. Although I still learned a lot at work and had fun doing it, I lost motivation for learning outside of my job. There were no exams to show my skills or compare myself to others.

I realized that learning to feed my ego with compliments didn’t work anymore because it happened too sporadically. I should not base my happiness on others’ opinions. I needed to shift my focus and find something better for my well-being. But I still liked that I was a good and fast learner.

Shifting Motivation and Finding Joy in the Process

I thought about how to align with myself without relying on others. I started to learn about “Self Optimization.” Trying to be a better human being every day. Maybe learn one new fact every day, wake up earlier, make my home more livable, do sports, etc. I liked that idea. It meant having a bit of competition in being better than myself. I compared myself to myself. I measured my performance today against yesterday.

I invested time in learning new things and became less focused on beating my past self. I focused on the process. I realized it was fun to learn new stuff without reaching a goal. It is cool to know how things work. I like the state of confusion, as it means I’m learning. The moment when you finally understand a complex topic and get relief is a nice endorphin boost.

Keeping Up the Curiosity

In short, I realized that I should focus on the process, not the goal. I started to enjoy the process of learning new things. That’s why I taught myself programming. I always have new stuff on my learning bucket list. I want to learn more languages, not just programming languages. I want to get better in Thai, maybe learn some Japanese or French, and learn about new cultures.

While I had bad times fueled by over-competitive thoughts and defining my self-esteem through others’ judgments, I shifted to enjoying the process and state of learning. Learning is not just about knowledge but also about becoming a better human being. Learning means improving, looking from different angles on a topic. This methodology helps in human relationships, arguments, discussions, and everyday talks. Shifting perspective and being curious about new things enables you to understand others better.

Learning enables me to be a better human being, and that’s why I never want to stop.